he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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