i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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