I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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