Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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