I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
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He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
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After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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