you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize