i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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