just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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