:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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