I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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