I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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