I heard we made out
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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