Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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