I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize