I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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