Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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