My room smells like vodka and shame
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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