you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Say something about gay babies.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
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one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
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...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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