so that wasnt chicken after all
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize