Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize