If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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