if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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