when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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