its not stalking. its research.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
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I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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