His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
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Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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