And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
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Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize