Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize