So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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