i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize