dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize