it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
All the doctor said was why
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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