respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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