Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize