now i know why i became what i already was.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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