i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize