she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize