Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize