Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize