when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
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you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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