If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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