I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize