first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
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Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
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I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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