i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
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hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
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He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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