At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize