roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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