The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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