I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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