im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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