Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize