Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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